I know I’m a few days late with this post and if truth be told, I’m still not sure how I feel about writing this but here goes.
I wanted to publish a post on Sunday about feeling alone but I felt it inappropriate considering the sad circumstances under which Caroline Flack passed away. One thing I wanted to say is that I’ve felt alone and needed help before and I wanted to share my story in the hope it may help someone.
The past two years have thrown some very challenging circumstances my way. There was a point, almost 2 years ago to the day, when I was feeling an awful lot of stress in my life. I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to discuss the details of what that stress was about as lots of people I know actually read this blog. There were lots of factors at play.
There was a stage where I got into my car and started to cry. I cried to a point I’ve never cried before. It felt as though the tears would never stop falling and surprisingly, it gave me no relief from my inner sadness. I was truly inconsolable.
If it hadn’t have been for a couple of amazing, caring people that day, I couldn’t honestly say I would still be here today because in my mind, I needed to crash my car. That would solve all of my problems. Of course, I’d didn’t do it and I owe a great deal of gratitude to those people who helped me out in awful circumstances.
I was very lucky to be offered some counselling and support at the time but I never actually attended. Around the same time as this event, I found out that a member of my family was seriously ill and it floored me. It could have been the straw that broke the camel’s back but if anything, it turned me around. I saw the family member in question fighting their health battle with such strength. I felt I needed to be strong too to help them, my family, myself and that I’d be no good to anyone in the state I was in.
I’m not writing this for pity or attention in any way but just to say that the bravest thing you can do is speak to someone about your feelings. The moment I told someone how I felt, it was like a weight had been lifted. No, the problem was not solved but knowing that someone was in my corner really helped. A big part of my mental health problem at that time was a feeling of being helpless so knowing I was listened to was really helpful.
I’m not a big, famous blogger with an enormous platform but I just want anyone reading this to know that you are not alone. I’m here for anyone who needs to talk, or just needs someone to listen.
I’ve also linked some organisations that could be useful for anyone reading this below.
Andy’s Man Club: andysmanclub.co.uk
Samaritans: Call 116 123