I have written this in agreement with my hubby ❤️
Wow. This is not an article that I expected to be writing; rather than dwelling on the fact that my pregnancy was, unfortunately, not meant to be, I’d like to celebrate and share some of the feelings and ideas I experienced. Writing this feels like an important part of the emotional recovery process for me. This open approach doesn’t suit everyone and that’s OK.
I should point out that I started to write this whilst my pregnancy was healthy and that everyone’s experiences are SOOOOO different. We need to respect each other’s opinions.
1. You never expect the tiredness!
Oh my days! As a teacher, I’m pretty tired all of the time 😂 Initially, I didn’t even notice a difference in my tiredness levels but WHAM! Does it hit you like a ton of bricks when your hormones start to surge! I would come home from work and literally be unable to do anything whatsoever until I had a nap. My advice would be to nap when you need to and appreciate the abundance of sleep now!
2. You might have a ‘period’ and dismiss the idea of being pregnant altogether.
This is a weird one! Because of when ovulation occurs in your cycle (generally around the middle), it then takes some time for fertilisation and implantation of the egg to occur, sometimes up to 12 days. If you have a short luteal phase (second phase of your cycle after ovulation), this can actually be problematic for becoming pregnant because you need to give your body enough time to implant that egg! When it does implant, some ladies have a small bleed. This happened to me and because of my cycle being quite short in length, I mistook it initially for my period and went about my normal business. You will notice the difference. It isn’t as heavy, it lasts a short period of time and for me personally, I didn’t need to wear sanitary products because the flow didn’t warrant it (although I did, to protect myself).
3. You will fret over every little pain/twinge and you will have a freak out moment
I’d like to say that you know when something is working out and when something isn’t. However, having spoken to friends of mine that have had healthy pregnancies, it is so normal to fret about everything that you feel and you will wonder whether it’s normal. I had an episode at school where I was feeling some intense pains around my uterus area and I just cried hysterically. Thinking back, I wonder if this was around the time our baby passed away. Just remember that if you’re unsure about anything, you can speak to your midwife or GP to put your mind at rest.
4. Trust your instincts!
This is really linked to the above. If you feel that something isn’t right, get it checked! Do not take no for an answer. I feel lucky that I never had to contend with anyone telling me I was being silly. I knew and I felt that there was something not right with my pregnancy and my midwife trusted me and my thought process. Sometimes trusting your instincts leads to great news and sometimes, like in our situation, it does not BUT it does mean that I am likely to trust myself again in new pregnancies.
5. Telling the right people is important
For super obvious reasons, it’s advisable to wait until 12 weeks to tell people about your pregnancy. Me being so bloody excited, I think I’d told most people WAY before then. It is entirely your choice who you tell but when we lost this baby, I was actually relieved that a great deal of my work colleagues and family knew because they have been the best and huge pillars of support for me and my husband. In saying this, in new pregnancies, we will probably wait to tell people because it would be heartbreaking to have to tell lots of people bad news again IF it were to happen.
Remember these are just my personal opinions. I have heard from a lot of people about their experiences since expressing our pregnancy loss and if you want to share your experiences or say anything whatsoever, please contact us 🙂